Letterboxd advice for Hollywood hopefuls
Are you afraid that sharing your honest movie opinions publicly could hurt your "career"? Do these things to bulletproof your Letterboxd account and your future in the entertainment industry.
I lost my fantasy football league and now I have to spend an entire Sunday with my wife and children as punishment
Please help me make it through.
I don't care if I'm in a time loop, I still have to do my morning pages
Twenty minutes, every day, no matter what.
If my English teacher married my gym teacher...
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are engaged (to be married)! They announced their big news via Taylor’s Instagram, where she captioned the series of adorable photos with the cheeky “your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married”. This made me wonder what would happen if such an engagement were to occur in my small-ass hometown.
The Little League team sponsor is going to pull the plug if you kids can't get your act together
You're not the ragtag group of so-and-so's he thought you were.
My Therapist Says You Have to Let Me Put on My Oxygen Mask First
My therapist told me that in order to help others, I have to help myself first. It sounds selfish, but it’s totally not. He had this great metaphor that made it perfectly clear to me. He told me it’s like this: on a plane, if there’s an emergency, you have to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping someone else put on theirs.
While they’re at it, the Supreme Court can decide all this sh*t for me too.
Like the mighty Colorado River forging the Grand Canyon, the Supreme Court is dead set on eroding our rights until they are a deep, plunging crevasse from which we can never crawl our way out. Except they’re looking to do it way faster. You know what, I’m sick of making decisions. If SCOTUS wants to decide everything for us, they can decide this shit for me, too.
Whoops! Your made-up mantra summoned a real ancient demon from hell.
You should have paid for the meditation classes.
Seven Habits of Super Fit People (Repost)
Just a few simple steps can take you from being a gross-disgusting-creature-not-fit-to-be-called-a-human to someone worthy of other people’s time and attention. You may think it’s impossible to achieve your health and fitness goals, but take it from these success stories, it’s easier than you may think!
I fear that I have become some kind of featured extra for the influencer at my gym
And I do not like it one bit.
Crazy week, here are replies I owe the group chat
Plus, timestamps so you know what I'm talking about...
The New News
Why trust the mainstream media when you can get your news from any one of these modern sources?
Become an AI Master with these helpful prompts
The only guide you need to become a ruler of generative AI.
a list of times when violence totally is the answer, actually
don't fall for all this "violence is never the answer" crap
A man has no children (that he knows of).
“Not that I know of,” I say, with a wink and a smile, to the hotel bartender who asked me if I had any children. Her smile tells me she’s picking up what I’m putting down, though it fades as she turns away to pour my shot and draw my beer from the tap.
Hey, Mom and Dad! I took your financial advice!
I hope you are proud of your boy. I took your financial advice to heart. I saved money whenever I could. I never bought things I couldn’t afford. And I never, ever, no matter what got a credit card.
A short list of things I could have done instead of watching The Brutalist three times
Six Hundred and Forty Five Minutes of my Life
A journal of my thoughts when trying to decide what to watch
Just use the watchlist, that’s what it’s there for.
Aaron Hertzog (comedian, writer, friend) turns his thoughts, feelings, weird obsessions, and tiny meltdowns into comedy. Dumb thoughts and sharp takes about the cultural absurdities and common anxieties of modern life. To get weekly updates delivered right to your inbox, sign up for my mailing list.
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