I lost my fantasy football league and now I have to spend an entire Sunday with my wife and children as punishment
Please help me make it through.
What do you even do with a family for a whole entire Sunday.
witda1stpck: Hello Fantasy Football Fellas Forum, long time lurker, first time poster here. I’m going to need your help and advice on something. I came in last place in my league (12-team, snake draft, PPR) last year and have to face the punishment. My league mates voted that I have to spend opening Sunday with my wife and children instead of at our Annual Kickoff Launch Party Blast. Not only am I bummed about missing out on the party, but I am lost. I’m not sure how I should spend a whole Football Sunday with my family. Can you please give me any advice you might have?
MrCommish (Admin): Can you take your wife and children to the Annual Kickoff Launch Party Blast?
witda1stpck: Sorry, I should have specified. I am not allowed to take them to the Annual Kickoff Launch Party Blast. The League has a very strict “no wives and children allowed” rule.
MrCommish (Admin): Can you watch the games at home with your wife and children?
witda1stpck: Sorry again. I’m not even allowed to watch any of the games, that’s part of my punishment.
MrCommish (Admin): Can you watch the NFL RedZone channel at home with your wife and children?
witda1stpck: Wow, I really feel like a dunce here. I’m not allowed to go to the Annual Kickoff Launch Party Blast, watch any of the games, or RedZone, or any pre/post game shows, or listen on the radio, or watch highlights on TV or social media, or follow along on any website that gives you text updates after every play, or drive to a stadium parking lot and listen to the roar of the stadium and use my imagination to picture what might have happened based on the sound the home crowd made. I basically have to live in a football black hole. I can catch up on scores, highlights, and even watch full game replays starting at 12:01 AM Tuesday.
MrCommish (Admin): Sorry, then. Got nothing for you. Godspeed.
gobirdsLIX: Can we have more context about your wife and children? Do they like football?
witda1stpck: I have two daughters, ages two and four. I’ve never asked them if they like football because they are girls. Should I ask them if they like football? My wife is an adult human woman, and the most words she’s said about football at one time are “it’s on Thursdays now, too?” But how they feel about football is kind of irrelevant, because of the football black hole I previously mentioned. What else can I do on Sunday? I know that I can’t go to Chick-fil-A.
gobirdsLIX: Congrats, GirlDad!
CeeDeezNuts123: Girldadding to the max!
LamarGoFar: Fellow GRLDAD stand up!
MrCommish (Admin): Came back to say way to go, Mr. Girldad! Dad those Girls as dad as you can dad.
witda1stpck:: Thanks, everybody. I’m a proud Girldad for sure. Little girls are miracles. I just don’t know what to do with them for an entire Sunday. And also my wife.
CeeDeezNuts321: I’m sorry, but I just can’t help somebody who still does a Snake Draft. Snake Drafts are for children and idiots. Do an Auction Draft like a man or GTFO.
gobirdsLIX: That’s not very helpful. Let’s try to lift our bro up.
CeeDeezNuts321: Okay, fine. What do you do with them on other days?
witda1stpck: I’m at work other days. I don’t know what they do. Should I ask my wife and them what they do most days while I’m at work? Should I already know that?
CeeDeezNuts123: @CeeDeezNuts321 nice handle, BTW
CeeDeezNuts321: TY. Great minds.
CeeDeezNuts123: Sorry, you didn’t pick up on my sarcasm. OBV you stole my name.
CeeDeezNuts321: You wish. I didn’t steal shit. It was right there.
CeeDeezNuts123: Yeah, right there in my name. For you to steal.
gobirdsLIX: Guys, guys. Let’s calm down and get back to the point. Plus…Dallas Sucks.
MrCommish (Admin): @gobirdsLIX I have to issue you a warning. Please refer to the forum rules for more information on banned phrases, which includes “Dallas Sucks.”
gobirdsLIX: I’m sorry.
MrCommish (Admin): Thank you.
gobirdsLIX: Dallas Sux.
witda1stpck: nevermind. I obviously wasn’t going to get any help here so I asked ChatGPT what I should do with my wife and daughters for a full Sunday and got my answer there.
LamarGoFar: What did ChatGPT say?
witda1stpck: To take them to the movies.
LamarGoFar: Nice. What are you seeing?
witda1stpck: They’re showing a replay of last year’s Super Bowl. Loophole!
gobirdsLIX: Go Birds! Dallas LIX (balls).
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