While they’re at it, the Supreme Court can decide all this sh*t for me too.
Why not? Who cares.
The Supreme Court can just decide my whole life. Whatever, I don’t care.
Like the mighty Colorado River forging the Grand Canyon, the Supreme Court is dead set on eroding our rights until they are a deep, plunging crevasse from which we can never crawl our way out. Except they’re looking to do it way faster. You know what, I’m sick of making decisions. If SCOTUS wants to decide everything for us, they can decide this shit for me, too.
The Supreme Court to decide what I make for dinner tonight.
The Supreme Court to decide if I can get another day out of this shirt before it has to go in the wash, I only really wore it for a couple of hours today.
The Supreme Court to decide if I actually want to start watching The Sopranos again from the beginning or if I should try something new.
The Supreme Court to decide my bedtime.
The Supreme Court to decide if I tell my dad that the latest post he shared on Facebook is made-up propaganda and purposefully misleading, or if it’s not worth starting that conversation this time and I should save it for something more important.
The Supreme Court to decide if it’s finally time to start speaking up about what I want.
The Supreme Court to decide what I want.
The Supreme Court to decide if I’m actually hungry or if I’m just bored.
The Supreme Court to decide if I should try going for a walk instead.
The Supreme Court to decide if my existence counts as “a life”.
The Supreme Court to decide if I continue the practice of brushing my teeth or just see what fucking happens to them if I stop.
The Supreme Court to decide if I still care about this podcast I’m listening to, or if I should just turn it off.
The Supreme Court to decide if I can afford to buy that new chair I need or if I should just keep sitting on the broken one I have, because I’m going to need that money for food or rent or an emergency.
The Supreme Court to decide what I make for dinner tomorrow.
The Supreme Court to decide what I have for every meal from here on out.
The Supreme Court to decide if I’m continuing to pursue my dreams out of some kind of sunk cost fallacy and if it’s time to hang it up and figure out what the back half of my life is going to look like and while they’re at it go ahead and just decide what I’m going to do for a living I don’t even care anymore.
The Supreme Court to decide if the next time I dip my feet into the vast and mighty Pacific Ocean I just keep on walking until it swallows me up.
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