While they’re at it, the Supreme Court can decide all this sh*t for me too.
Like the mighty Colorado River forging the Grand Canyon, the Supreme Court is dead set on eroding our rights until they are a deep, plunging crevasse from which we can never crawl our way out. Except they’re looking to do it way faster. You know what, I’m sick of making decisions. If SCOTUS wants to decide everything for us, they can decide this shit for me, too.
Whoops! Your made-up mantra summoned a real ancient demon from hell.
You should have paid for the meditation classes.
Seven Habits of Super Fit People (Repost)
Just a few simple steps can take you from being a gross-disgusting-creature-not-fit-to-be-called-a-human to someone worthy of other people’s time and attention. You may think it’s impossible to achieve your health and fitness goals, but take it from these success stories, it’s easier than you may think!
I fear that I have become some kind of featured extra for the influencer at my gym
And I do not like it one bit.
Crazy week, here are replies I owe the group chat
Plus, timestamps so you know what I'm talking about...
The New News
Why trust the mainstream media when you can get your news from any one of these modern sources?
Comedy Writing Toolbox: Little Tricks
Taking an idea to a finished product by way of little writing tricks.
Become an AI Master with these helpful prompts
The only guide you need to become a ruler of generative AI.
Aaron Hertzog (comedian, writer, friend) turns his thoughts, feelings, weird obsessions, and tiny meltdowns into comedy. Dumb thoughts and sharp takes about the cultural absurdities and common anxieties of modern life. To get weekly updates delivered right to your inbox, sign up for my mailing list.