The New News
Why trust the mainstream media when you can get your news from any one of these modern sources?
Become an AI Master with these helpful prompts
The only guide you need to become a ruler of generative AI.
a list of times when violence totally is the answer, actually
don't fall for all this "violence is never the answer" crap
A man has no children (that he knows of).
“Not that I know of,” I say, with a wink and a smile, to the hotel bartender who asked me if I had any children. Her smile tells me she’s picking up what I’m putting down, though it fades as she turns away to pour my shot and draw my beer from the tap.
Hey, Mom and Dad! I took your financial advice!
I hope you are proud of your boy. I took your financial advice to heart. I saved money whenever I could. I never bought things I couldn’t afford. And I never, ever, no matter what got a credit card.
A short list of things I could have done instead of watching The Brutalist three times
Six Hundred and Forty Five Minutes of my Life
A journal of my thoughts when trying to decide what to watch
Just use the watchlist, that’s what it’s there for.
We paid off your student loan. No need to say thanks.
We're sure you have a lot of questions.
I'm sorry, but you just don't have the follower count to work in our humble little shop
We'd be happy to consider you in the future after more people smash that follow button.
Aaron Hertzog (comedian, writer, friend) turns his thoughts, feelings, weird obsessions, and tiny meltdowns into comedy. Dumb thoughts and sharp takes about the cultural absurdities and common anxieties of modern life. To get weekly updates delivered right to your inbox, sign up for my mailing list.