I’m Sorry, but I am Contractually Obligated to Keep My Mouth Shut
I signed a morality clause, and I don’t want to get sued into oblivion by one of the largest corporations in the world.
I am at the hospital every single day because I am SO STRONG and SO HEALTHY
Since everybody seems to be all up in my business, they have started to notice that I go to the hospital every single day, without fail. And since everybody is also a chatty little gossip bitch they all can’t stop speculating about why I’m there and what I’m doing while I’m there.
Aaron Hertzog (comedian, writer, friend) turns his thoughts, feelings, weird obsessions, and tiny meltdowns into comedy. Dumb thoughts and sharp takes about the cultural absurdities and common anxieties of modern life. To get weekly updates delivered right to your inbox, sign up for my mailing list.