I am at the hospital every single day because I am SO STRONG and SO HEALTHY
Since everybody seems to be all up in my business, they have started to notice that I go to the hospital every single day, without fail. And since everybody is also a chatty little gossip bitch they all can’t stop speculating about why I’m there and what I’m doing while I’m there.
So I’m here to put an end to all of the rumors about what I’m doing at the hospital and no it’s not getting “treatment” for any “diseases” or “visiting” a “loved one” or “forcing an unwanted visit” on “Make-a-Wish kids who would rather meet John Cena.”
I’m there so they can do tests on my body because the doctors all tell me they’ve never seen anybody as strong and healthy as me and they need to figure out what’s up because they for real think I might be a super person just naturally by birth or at least had some kind of good chemical accident that made me the way that I am and they need to test it to figure out if I’m like a one of one or if this could possibly be used to strengthen other people to the level I am or maybe if I’m the first in a new line of evolution or something and it’s taking a while to figure it all out that’s why I’m there every day and for so many hours each day, okay!
Every doctor tells me this. Every single one of them. They told me not to tell anybody else but I have to tell you so you know so you’ll stop talking all this junk about me.
To answer more of your questions that pain in my left arm is because its got so much muscle in it. It’s called a “growing pain” and it hurts like that because more muscle is growing in it almost all the time. I’m not even working out it just does that on its own. And the nausea is because I’m sick to my stomach at being the only person who is as strong as me. It’s pain because of how much I want other people to be able to be as great as me and they’re not and that makes me feel bad and lonely like nobody could ever understand me because I’m so much better than them. And the numbness in my arms and legs is to protect me from hurting myself from punching and kicking so hard when I have to punch and kick because only I can hurt myself with my own power but not anymore because of the numbness. And it’s hard to breathe because I might be from another planet and I just haven’t adjusted to the atmosphere here yet.
So that’s why I’m at the hospital every day and the machines they hook me up to is because I let them and the machines suck out some of my power and use it to run computer data centers or something because that’s how much power is in me. I’m basically a new source of energy. I’m the new oil but I didn’t have to get juiced for millions of years underground I just have the energy juice inside me. I’m like a freaking modern day, walking, talking dinosaur that didn’t have to die to become power. But I’m pretty much stronger than a dinosaur too, because of the whole thing with my left arm.
At least this is what all the doctors have told me.
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