Let it be known that from the top of the Central Valley growing fields to the bottom of every Erewhon Butter Blast Smoothie, it is open season on the snitch Sam Altman.

You are cordially invited to our home for a backyard friendship get-together.

If you’re reading this, congratulations, you have broken my cypher and proven yourself worthy of my message.

Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing back from you.

I got bad news for you, and that news is that you don’t know shit.

You think that you’re a discerning, unique human with refined, well-developed taste. You are actually a puppet being manipulated either by strings or a hand up the butt; the choice is up to the puppeteer.

More bad news, I’m the puppeteer, and I prefer manipulation by butt hand.

In a move that must have come about in a “how can we be more like the devil” brainstorming sesh, AI Companies are paying people cash in exchange for their data.

There I was, minding my own business in line for the self-checkout at my local Whole Foods Market when I felt a tap on my shoulder. My entire body went cold. This was it. I had finally been caught.

a book on creativity by: Some Mega-Rich "Guru" A-Hole Grifter

We sat down with him to figure out what the heck his whole deal is.

Anybody can become famous now. But also, anybody can become famous now.

The man she knows and loves was formed, collecting parts here and there from the dissecting rooms and slaughterhouses of relationships past.

It's a cheap, classy place to meet up with your friends.

I signed a morality clause, and I don’t want to get sued into oblivion by one of the largest corporations in the world.

My final act of the year was the act of a changed man I barely recognize…

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...will not make this list, but I agree with the sentiment.

Since everybody seems to be all up in my business, they have started to notice that I go to the hospital every single day, without fail. And since everybody is also a chatty little gossip bitch they all can’t stop speculating about why I’m there and what I’m doing while I’m there.

Choo Choo! All aboard! One way trip, no coming back!