An Excerpt from "The Creative Creator Creates"
a book on creativity by: Some Mega-Rich "Guru" A-Hole Grifter
In order to be creative, the creator must create a creation. For a creation to be created by the creator, creativity must begin. To create the first step on the path to creativity, the creator must understand how creation is created. In other words, they must understand the beginning of creation.
It begins with a “C.” As in: “What do you see?” Look around. Take it in. Remember it because there will be a test later, and I ask tough questions. What kind of tough questions? Well, one time, the only question I asked on my test was “Why?” It blew my students’ minds. One little hotshot tried to answer by saying, "Why not?" He thought he was smart. I got him kicked out of school for being an asshole.
Now close your eyes. Look around again.
What do you see now? Is it the same stuff you saw when your eyes were open?
That’s wrong. You couldn’t be more wrong if you tried, actually. How’d you mess that one up? Were you peeking? You must be peeking if you’re still reading this. Close your eyes for real and keep looking. You’ll find that creation starts with what you see when you cannot see.
I’m assuming that you opened your eyes back up eventually, since you’re reading this (if you’re listening to the audiobook, I hope I gave you ample time to look around while your eyes were closed). Perhaps you opened them after being struck by inspiration from The Ultimate Creator. No, I’m not talking about me (though thank you for thinking that). I’m talking about The Creator From Above. I’m talking about The Creator From Within. Maybe you now think I’m talking about God. If you thought that, then you’d once again be wrong. God may have created the world, but he could not have produced The Partie Boiz’s smash hit “Groan and Sexxxy”. That is something I did myself, which may be confusing because I already told you I’m not talking about myself right now. But sometimes, even when I’m not talking about myself, I end up talking about myself. Anyways, The Ultimate Creator, The Creator From Above, The Creator From Within is…(are you ready to have your mind blown?)…you.
You just got There’s a Monster at the End of this Book’d, baby! You had a creator inside of you this whole time, and you are afraid of them because you’re afraid of yourself. You’re afraid of your own power. You’re afraid of what you can create if you truly embrace your inner creative creator. You’re afraid because you’re a little Grover-ass bitch. Well, I’m here to turn you into Super Grover. Wubba, wubba.
Pretty cool, right? Well, that’s just the start. Wait until we get to Chapter Two: “Re” (as in: do it again) and Chapter Three: “Ate” (as in: nourish yourself). There’s a whole crap ton of stuff you can learn about how to create just by looking at the word itself if you have a mind as good as mine. Which you’ll never have. But you can start to understand a mind like mine if you buy into the method I’m about to show you in the rest of this book. You can also buy into signing up for my online creativity course. It costs a lot of money. “Don’t you already have a lot of money?” you might be saying. Of course I do. But you don’t keep having a lot of money by not taking money from suckers, spreading your knowledge and understanding to people who want to learn how to be creative just like you. Let me be clear, when I say “you,” I actually mean “me.” I’m the one who is creative and can teach you how to be creative in exchange for your money, which will then become my money. That’s how money works, which, if you didn’t know, you can learn in my other book: That’s How Money Works (Tips and tricks to get lots of money all from the comfort of your own Malibu mansion), available now at any major bookstore.
One final thing before we move forward. Have you read The Artist’s Way? No? Great! Let’s keep going then.
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