I can't help but view the act of sweeping the floor as a metaphor for life.
But then again, what isn't a metaphor for life?
A journal of my thoughts when I see a guy who has the same backpack as me
Oh, wow, neat! That guy and I have the same backpack.
I'm sorry, but I don't want to talk about politics!
Or anything else that I don't understand!
Please consider using your MLK Day of Service to help me with my new apartment
Honor Dr. King’s legacy by breaking down all this cardboard
Shopping at GNC makes me feel like a big dumb stupid idiot
Sometimes I do things that make me feel dumb and this is me writing about how dumb I feel when I do them.
Listen, Cat, you need to work on your pattern recognition skills
Why are you afraid of the cat-carrier when every time you go into the cat-carrier something good happens for you?
Support My Comedy and Writing!
Become a paid supporter of my work on Substack or Patreon to receive exclusive bonus comedy content and more. Paid subscribers will receive:
Exclusive paid members-only posts & content (podcasts, videos, and more!)
Early access to all my writing - read it there before the public can read it here on my website!
A download of my stand-up comedy album, Delicious Mistake (which is also available to purchase or stream.)
Downloads of long-form comedy content, like my half-hour comedy pilot scripts, and more!
The satisfaction of supporting an independent artist create and do what he loves!
Aaron Hertzog (comedian, writer, friend) turns his thoughts, feelings, weird obsessions, and tiny meltdowns into comedy. Dumb thoughts and sharp takes about the cultural absurdities and common anxieties of modern life. To get weekly updates delivered right to your inbox, sign up for my mailing list.