Truthful Truth or Dare

The scene: Every small party or gathering where drinking is involved, and activities are scarce.

(Dialogue is translated into the true meaning of what has been said.)

Chick: This party is so boring.

Dude: Crap! We have to do something soon or nobody is going to get did.

Bro: That can't happen. I have got to put this into something tonight.

Chick: Well, find a way to entertain us or it will have to be something cold and lifeless again.

Dude: I am not at all creative!

Bro: MY BRAIN IS SIMPLE AND PRIMITIVE!

Girl: I have a horrible idea!

Everybody: Please tell us or we will all soon leave.

Girl: Let's play Truth or Dare!

Dude: Groan.

Chick: Oh, come on, it will be fun. For a little bit. But since we all lack imagination we will quickly run out of questions and repeat dares to the point of exhaustion but it will at the very least keep us busy for a little while.

Bro: Oh, come on. Why do girls always want to play Truth or Dare?

Girl: Well, there are certain guys at parties that we want to do stuff with, and when they are too pussy to make a move, we resort to this so we can have our friends dare us to do things and then we won't feel like whores.

Dude: Really?

Girl: Yes.

Bro: So then, this whole thing could turn into an orgy.

Dude: This whole thing could turn into an orgy.

All Females: It won't turn into an orgy.

Guy: I'm going to sit this one out. Because I'm a virgin and don't want to get asked any questions that I'll have to lie about.Not because I believe in the sanctity of telling the truth in Truth or Dare, but because I turn bright red and sweat when I lie and everyone can see through my facade. Also, I might be gay. I'm not exactly sure yet but I don't want this night to be my night of discovery and forever have my coming out story be "well, Tony dared Gary to give me a lapdance and when he rubbed his dong in my face and everybody was falling off their chairs with laughter, I finally felt like I had found myself."

Dude: Ok, I'll get this started, I pick...Guy That I Hate. Guy That I Hate, do you want to tell that one secret I know about you, or do something gay?

GTIH: I guess I'll do something gay.

Dude: Ok...um....suck on this beer bottle that I have placed between this other guys legs, for THIRTY SECONDS.

GTIH: Here we go!

begins to suck on strategically placed beer bottle..

Chick: 30 seconds seems like forever when all the humor is exhausted in the first 5.

Girl: This is excessive.

Guy: I think I gotta go.

GTIH: All right my turn now. Girl I'm Secretly In Love With, break my heart with words, or break my heart with actions?

GISILW: Actions, of course.

GTIH: I dare you to sit on somebody's (points at himself) lap for the rest of the night.

GISILW: I guess I'll pick Dude, because of your well documented rivalry with him.

15 minutes later...

Dude: Oh, Girl That The Guy That I Hate Is Secretly In Love With, your mouth tastes so good.

GISILW: I hate you. But I hate myself more, so let's keep doing this.

GTIH: Time to go cry myself to sleep.

Bro: Guess I'll go home and rub my wiener in the space between my mattress and the wall again.

Chick: I'm still bored.

Guy: Definitely gay.